Thanksgiving.

i havent been able to sleep really well these last couple of days... and its seriously taking its toll on me... Ive been cranky, and moody. especially with john... and then I noticed that ive been super sensitive with everything....

and thing is, i love you, so i take extra care to listen.... and its your actions that speak louder then words.

So November has passed, and Thanksgiving has ended. But i think that every day is a new day to be thankful for all the blessings we have been given.

A roof over head, and transportation. Good Jobs.

Speaking of which... I got rehired at Macy's. :) at first i was a little scared with the new registers, but its ok, I got it.

Im very thankful for the time I got to spend with my mom this year... I miss her every single day, but i know that she's in heaven Watching over everyone.

Im thankful for my life full of LOVE, Bella and Babe.... My family...fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters..... and Friends---- '


anyway, new layout. :) gnite.

NOTHING LEFT TO SAY.

I CAN'T SLEEP.

i woke up around 3 to go to the bathroom, I saw my stepdad cuz he came home from work.. and then Babe went to the bathroom, and then Bella ran out of the room..... lol... too much excitement, toooo early in the morning.

So it seems like the million dollar question: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

Slowly i feel like im being acquainted to the real world again. Its a change, for some reason, im not that welcomed too. I've been so used to my old routine, that now, I feel lost.... I know that things were inevitable... But I guess in the back of my mind, I was so focused on taking care of others, That i didnt have time to really worry about me. Now, its like, i dont even know where to start.

So i apply to jobs... but I know i could be half-assing it.--- Futhermore, today when i went to Adecco, my career counselor, kept asking me questions about my last year of jobless experience. And then she asked, well is your mom better now? and i told her Im sure she is.... and then the lady told me that it was good.. And i told her, well, she isnt suffering anymore.... so its great.

and then she looked at me-- awkward silence, and then said sorry.

... ok, maybe that situation could've been avoided by somehow telling her off the bat.. But I didnt want her to sympathize me... I just wanted a job not a therapy session!!

sigh* I know everyone means well... please don't get offended!!

But, it's just that Im not getting over something. I have to learn how to live with loss. And everything happens at its own time.

However, If i ever needed to reach out to someone, I'll let you know.... its just sometimes its easier to just write it out.

You're everything I need and more. :)

Everyone grieves in their own way.

I write.

Soo much has happened in the past month, it's been overwhelming... Now that everything has settled down, Im left with so many different decisions to make, and its scary.

im sorry i really havent written in awhile... truth is, i had to let things just fall into place.. i have A WHOLE BUNCH OF un-finished posts.:( sorry....

My mom was a big part of my life, I miss her everyday. Im sad that I can't physically see her.... but i know that she's beginning her next life in heaven watching over all of us, and still taking care of us... its just hard, and there are times, when i wish she would just pop up out of no where and say hi... i just want to know that she's ok--- even tho, i know she is.

i cant tell everyone enough, how much i appreciate all the kind things that people have been giving to us... prayers, consoling gifts, and supportive words.. even hugs, kisses and tissues!! its been hard, but with everyone's help. its been a little easier.

Ive been so inspired, to just live a simple, balanced, happy life.....


Luckily, Babe is here now.. and we can get our lives on track, together rather then apart. Its soo much easier that way, and ive been so scared... but somehow, with his strength, i know everything will work out, and we will be ok.

ive been taking things one day at a time, i know ive been lagging, especially on the blogging front, but i need time to just live life so i have something to blog about...

I rescued a lil puppy... 3 months old, terrier mix and decided to name her Bella, cause i really liked the name Isabelle... (yeah--- no twilight influence). She's been a handful but she's a puppy so she is easily forgiven.

i have a couple of interviews lined up next week... hopefully, everything goes great.

wish me luck.