NOTHING LEFT TO SAY.

I CAN'T SLEEP.

i woke up around 3 to go to the bathroom, I saw my stepdad cuz he came home from work.. and then Babe went to the bathroom, and then Bella ran out of the room..... lol... too much excitement, toooo early in the morning.

So it seems like the million dollar question: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

Slowly i feel like im being acquainted to the real world again. Its a change, for some reason, im not that welcomed too. I've been so used to my old routine, that now, I feel lost.... I know that things were inevitable... But I guess in the back of my mind, I was so focused on taking care of others, That i didnt have time to really worry about me. Now, its like, i dont even know where to start.

So i apply to jobs... but I know i could be half-assing it.--- Futhermore, today when i went to Adecco, my career counselor, kept asking me questions about my last year of jobless experience. And then she asked, well is your mom better now? and i told her Im sure she is.... and then the lady told me that it was good.. And i told her, well, she isnt suffering anymore.... so its great.

and then she looked at me-- awkward silence, and then said sorry.

... ok, maybe that situation could've been avoided by somehow telling her off the bat.. But I didnt want her to sympathize me... I just wanted a job not a therapy session!!

sigh* I know everyone means well... please don't get offended!!

But, it's just that Im not getting over something. I have to learn how to live with loss. And everything happens at its own time.

However, If i ever needed to reach out to someone, I'll let you know.... its just sometimes its easier to just write it out.