if i can change places.

Im hurting inside.

Not because my mom is dying, but because there is nothing i can do to stop whats going to happen.

Hospice came today, to start assisting us on all the necessary things.

Admitedly, there was a certain comfort in them coming. but its morbid.... its definitely one of those experiences that i never thought woiuld ever happen to me.

i dont know where all my extra stength is coming from, but im glad i have it.

cause right now, its not about me, its about the people i care about who need me.


... the social worker from hospice gave me a book about dying.... at first i was scared to open it, cause i didnt want to know... was scared to know.... but it was a small book like 10 pages long, and huge writing... and it was sitting on my desk calling my name.... 'read me...' so i prayed, and i opened the book. i actually kind of just skimmed through it... but in my opinion, its one of those books you never wanna read,... cause its so hard to come to terms with what its telling you.

.....